Wait, Don't Panic...

We filled out all of our initial paperwork and after about a hundred signatures it was ready to mail! I took it to the post office after school and I have to admit... I was a little nervous! This is how it happened: Went into the post office only to realize that I had left the address in the car. Went back to the car to get it, into the post office again. Picked up a letter size envelope and after I sealed it realized I forgot to include the check! Open the envelope, replace with new one and proceed to write the sender address in the return address section. I mean, seriously! At this point I am starting to feel like others around me think I am suspicious looking and are wondering why this girl can't address a darn envelope. But here I am writing this post and our paperwork is successfully off in postal land waiting to be mailed to Virginia. Phew.
I'll give you one guess as to what I was most nervous about. Any guesses? No? Okay, I'll tell you. How about that check for the first program fee?! It may not seem like a ton of money to some people, but let me tell you, it's not every day that this girl writes a $2,500 check. I think it also had something to do with the fact that this is only the beginning of big check writing in this process.
During our time researching adoption and different agencies, I was fortunate enough to hear many families adoption stories. These people are amazing. They were (and are) patient enough to answer all of my questions...and believe me, I had a LOT of questions. One question that was holding us back for a while was "how do you fund a $25,000 adoption?!" I just kept thinking that these people were not like us. We are both in our first real jobs after college and while we are both thankful and blessed to have them, we don't exactly have an abundance of disposable income flowing in. Then I talked with more families, including one in our small town church! First of all, I was excited just to meet someone else in the area who had been through this experience! Then to hear that they too could not have funded their adoptions without fundraising gave me some hope. She shared incredible stories of the funds arriving just in time or in just the right amount. I was amazed and knew this had been the work of a gracious God. Still, I thought, those things happen to other people...not to me. Hello...point of revelation.
Who am I, the created, to determine what my Creator can and cannot provide? More often than I like to admit, I find myself doubting God. I KNOW that he is almighty, he is the creator of the universe, beginning and end. Why, then, do I end up here? I'm telling you, it is a good thing that I am redeemed through Christ and not by my faithfulness on any given day. When I find that I am doubting, that I am trying to be in control and make plans, I am always reminded of this verse in Matthew:
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
~sigh of relief~ If I take a moment to think of this and remember that I am not in control anyway...it becomes a little easier and even comforting to put it in His hands.

So after all of that, I may not know where the funds for the next payment will come from, but I know that my God will provide. I am sure I will have to remind myself of that many times throughout this process.

On an end note I must insert a shameless plug for our fundraising website. It is up and running, for real, now. Check it out and please share it with your friends and family.
Thanks guys.

http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/Kloster-Family-Adoption/36169