After morning coffee with my new friend, Tessy, I am feeling renewed about this adoption journey. I know it seems hard to believe that I already needed renewal after just a few months of this process, but I am starting to realize the roller coaster of emotions that everyone talks about. I guess I didn't expect it to begin so soon.
I was thrilled to meet Tessy and her sweet family at our first adoption fundraiser, which I must mention was awesome! Our church hosted a fundraising meal for us and raised $1,582 for our home study! Whoo hoo! The check has been sent to our agency and we are patiently (okay, anxiously!) awaiting a call from our social worker.
This morning was exactly what I needed. Connecting with another family who knows the adoption process is so exciting for us. Just to be able to talk about my fears, anxieties, and hopes with a friend who has been there was encouraging. It is easy to feel like you are alone in this process, but alas, we are not! Having these friends by our side will be just as important as making sure all our paperwork is filled out correctly.
I was so comforted to hear Tessy talk about her experience in the Congo and know that someone else out there feels what I feel. We talked about these third world countries and how different their day-to-day lives are than ours. I felt relief knowing that I am not the only one who doesn't feel "normal" in this world. It is not "normal" in our society to be so consumed by social injustice. It is not normal to feel the actual need to do something. I find myself listening to the daily complaints of others, including myself, and wondering how we are so bothered by these "problems" that others could only hope for. Why don't the real problems bother us more?
It is a scary thing to ask God and allow him to break your heart for what breaks His. Sometimes I wonder if I really know what I am getting myself into when I pray for that. We decided this morning that "ignorance is bliss" is probably one of the most true statements ever made. If you remain unaware of the troubles of the world you can go on living your life without a heavy heart. Once you ask to see the truth, it is a whole different story. I find myself in turmoil wondering how I can let myself feel comfortable living in this culture when I know how completely opposite the world is for orphans in Ethiopia. I know that I cannot go back to acting like I don't know the truth. It is an uncomfortable feeling to know that millions of children will not see their first birthday, others will not have food to eat, a safe place to sleep, the chance to be educated, or loved. I also know that if I ask God to open my heart to these things that He will provide the tools and opportunities to do something about it.
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